Who will I be this year?

2017. What a time. After one of the most tumultuous, polarizing years in recent American history, many are looking to the new year as a time to reinvent themselves and prepare for a new year. While friends discuss new resolutions for weight loss, kindness, and general personal improvement, I am at a loss for what my goal is for myself this upcoming year. Of course I want to eat healthier, exercise more, and skip fewer classes like all of my fellow students. However this year I strive for something more.

In 2016, I lost a relationship with the only boy I’ve ever loved. Then he came back into my life, roped me back in and then I lost him again. I lost best friends who were simply more cohesive without me. I cried countless times over things and people I couldn’t change. I went and tried to reinvent myself by wearing too much makeup and partying with people I didn’t like. For awhile, everything hurt, because I had lost most of the things I loved.

Then, something I never expected happened. I found new people to love. New friends found their way into my life. I went to college, and with a new sorority I found my best friend who gets me better than anyone. Someone who laughs when I laugh, and knows when I need a hug rather than tough love. I found a family who checks in and makes sure that I’m alright after a tough day. I found that my acquaintances from high school were like my family, who know my past and know what I’ve been through.

From this past of hurt and anger, I found better relationships than I could have ever imagined before. That’s why this year, my resolution is to love. Love as much as I can, whenever I can. Find a way to love so much that it hurts. Whether it be the nature around me, the boy that I finally let my guard down for, or friends whether they’re new or old, I’m going to try to find a way to love more than I think possible. Because even when we lose love, it’s most likely because we’re about to find an even greater love than before.

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